Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Body Image and Body Hate in LARP

First! Happy end of the season, for most of you! I have had a busy, but productive season, and I’m eager for what the winter revels and spring sessions bring.

With that being said, back to blogging!
A quick note-- this piece contains conversation about body image and body hate within the LARP setting. This may not be your cup of tea, as it may be a) personally upsetting or b) simply boring. I wanted to give fair warning to readers, so that people can skip this if bothered by these topics.

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A recent piece, by Alex Hern, in the New Statesmen focuses on the “misogyny of geek culture.” It’s an interesting read, and one that warrants some thought. However, the piece brought forward some specific concerns from my community of friends. Most of them were related to this passage (pulled from Tony Harris’s rant that sparked all of this):

(Mr. Harris’s thoughts on “con girls” and “con hot”-- very mildly explicit.)

“Heres the statement I wanna make, based on THE RULE: "Hey! Quasi-Pretty-NOT-Hot-Girl, you are more pathetic than the REAL Nerds, who YOU secretly think are REALLY PATHETIC. But we are onto you. Some of us are aware that you are ever so average on an everyday basis. But you have a couple of things going your way. You are willing to become almost completely Naked in public, and yer either skinny( Well, some or most of you, THINK you are ) or you have Big Boobies. Notice I didnt say GREAT Boobies? You are what I refer to as "CON-HOT". Well not by my estimation, but according to a LOT of average Comic Book Fans who either RARELY speak to, or NEVER speak to girls. Some Virgins, ALL unconfident when it comes to girls, and the ONE thing they all have in common? The are being preyed on by YOU. You have this really awful need for attention, for people to tell you your pretty, or Hot, and the thought of guys pleasuring themselves to the memory of you hanging on them with your glossy open lips, promising them the Moon and the Stars of pleasure, just makes your head vibrate. After many years of watching this shit go down every 3 seconds around or in front of my booth or table at ANY given Con in the country, I put this together. Well not just me. We are LEGION. And here it is, THE REASON WHY ALL THAT, sickens us: BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT COMICS, BEYOND WHATEVER GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH YOU DID TO GET REF ON THE MOST MAINSTREAM CHARACTER WITH THE MOST REVEALING COSTUME EVER.”

Harris, who is well-respected (or, at least, was well-respected) within the comics community, has received a lot of negative backlash for this (public) rant. Moreover, as distasteful as it is to me, personally, I do think it has generated some productive conversation. Within the LARP community, my friends have been talking about how this sort of thinking impacts LARP and LARPers. Specifically, how do body image and body hate function in a LARP? What is the current atmosphere like? I wanted to give people a place to talk about some of these issues, so I made my first post-LARP season post related to this.

Body hate and body image at LARP. I spent the better part of an afternoon hashing through these things with some friends, and I think they are worth discussing. I’ll give you some basic talking points, and maybe expand on this in a later post. Right now, I think these are things that are not talked about openly enough in this community, and I wanted to put out some feelers.

1) Body Hate/Bashing
So indicated by Harris’s rant (and elsewhere, to be sure), body hate is alive and well in the convention community. Ragging on people’s physical appearance, as a way of cutting them down, is unfortunately frequent. Within LARP, there is obviously a precedent against this type of behavior, and-- within my communities-- people are generally supportive of one another. That is not to say, however, that body criticisms, similar to the one above, are not present in LARP communities. I have heard, and I’m sure others have heard, negative comments about other players’ appearance, stature etc. How does body hate function, if at all, in your LARP community? Have you witnessed it? How is it addressed, if at all? How has it impacted LARPing in your community?

2) Body Image

“a subjective picture of one's own physical appearance established both by self-observation and by noting the reactions of others”

Obviously, body image relates to body hate, and body bashing, whether coming from within or without, negatively impacts body image. However, obviously, a person’s body image doesn’t depend entirely (or at all) on the body critics. How, if at all, has body image impacted your LARP experience? Has LARP improved your body image? Has it made you think about your body in a different way? Has it made you appreciate a wider range of bodies? More importantly, how has LARP impacted your self-esteem, particularly as it relates to body image?


Thanks for reading, and welcome back! As always, I look forward to your comments and responses. Expect a more basic “end of season” wrap-up in the near future.

9 comments:

  1. This is a very interesting topic, and thank you for posting about it! I've noticed in the past year that I've gotten a number of negative comments from folks on the number of corsets my NPCs wear. Which, you know, is fair - I wear a lot of corsets. The comments I receive are along the "you're trying to be hot" line. To which I say, seriously? Who goes out and tries to look like a piece of crap? Of course I'm trying to look good. However I'm also trying to hold my spine together, and strapping myself into a steel-boned corset is a great way of doing that.

    I suppose what I'm getting at is that I'm not sure why my outfits are comment-worthy. Is it a bad thing if I try to look good? Is it a shame-worthy thing if I try and fail? Is my love for corsets somehow shame-worthy in itself? I think not, but I can't figure out what the purpose is to comments like these if they're not an attempt at body shaming.

    In other news, the thing that makes me erupt into red hot flame is the fat-shaming I've heard at LARPs. "Why is she wearing that? Doesn't she know she's fat? Oh wow, she's really let herself go. It was easier to look at her when she was thin." All of these are actual comments I've overheard at LARPs, from people who would probably vehemently deny that they are body bashing. The fat-shaming of women (not so much of men, oddly) is something I've never seen a LARP community self-police, and I wonder why it's thought to be acceptable among our peers.

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    1. Heh, corsets and fat-shaming were largely the reason this post was made. I didn't go into them specifically because I didn't want my personal opinions to cloud this conversation too much.

      Anyways, I agree with all of this. And to add a few more points...

      On corsets and the "you're only wearing that to look hot." So. What. Well, firstly... swap the word "hot" with "confident and attractive," and I'll agree with Anonymous-Corset-Commentator-X. I like how they look. I like how I feel while wearing them. Moreover, as mentioned, despite general opinion, they're really comfortable-- especially if I need to be standing for longer periods of time. Finally, they are an easy way to make a costume distinctive and finished. So, overall, corsets add to my game experience. If they detract from someone else's, I have to wonder why. If cleavage is distasteful? Well, excuse me, let me go hide my body so as not to offend you.

      Which brings me to fat-shaming... and, yes. I feel like a lot of it is directed at women, of all shapes and sizes. Men suffer it too, though it's a very different flavor (and probably as equally hurtful). In short, it's a really ugly part of our community. I think self-policing, in a polite but honest and direct way, is a good first-step strategy.

      Both of these problems, however, bring me to the same question: Are bodies, especially female bodies, simply on display at a LARP? To be sure, I *do not* mind when people appreciate a body they find attractive, as long as it's done in a respectful manner (which varies depending on relationships and situations). However, a lot of the more negative/judgmental comments, "you're only wearing that to look hot/does she know she's fat?," imply that, at a LARP, bodies are available for consumption-- and the consumer/viewer gets to decide what is and isn't appropriate. That's just not how I LARP. That's not why I LARP. I LARP because I enjoy creative expression in an interactive and collaborative world. I LARP because I learn things about myself and others. While there is, to be sure, performative qualities in my LARP behavior (including my costuming), I am not there to be judged based solely on my physical appearance. Body-shaming feeds in to a toxic culture that is only bad for our community.

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    2. I believe that some of the “She is only wearing it to look hot” sentiment in part come from perception that the person is dressing far more extravagantly at the event, be it a LARP or convention or whatever, than they would in any other normal circumstance. Couple that with the idea that women dress extravagantly to attract male attention, and the result can be some resentment. The syllogism goes something like this.

      - At LARPs, conventions, and other “geek” settings a person dresses in a way that exhibits considerable sex appeal.
      - This person does not dress in a corresponding fashion in other settings (work, at home, in other social settings).
      - Dressing in a way that exhibits sex appeal is an attempt to get enjoyment through the attention of others, in particular sexual/flirty attention.
      - The only difference between “geek” settings and “normal” settings is the audience. Stereotypically “geek” audiences are nerdy individuals who don't typically get a lot of flirty/sexual attention.
      - Therefore, the person is dressing in a way that exhibits sex appeal at the “geek” setting because they see it as an easy audience to impress and from which to get attention as opposed to the more critical and demanding audience they would find in “normal” settings.

      This is the angle that Tony Harris was trying to take. His main complaint was that there were women running around at conventions that were there for the sole purpose of titillating what they perceived as poor sex starved unsocialized geeks. He was saying “We are here to celebrate our hobby. You have no interest in the hobby. You are only here because you want male sexual attention, and you think we are desperate for any female attention and will respond. That is patronizing to us.”

      When he gets into talking about how the women are only average looking or con-hot he is attempting to use that as evidence that the person is just trying to titillate geeks. The idea is that the people don't dress provocatively in the more critical and competitive “normal” setting because after all they aren't all that hot, so the only reason they think they will be success at it in the geek setting must be because they feel the audience is less demanding or critical.

      The fallacies in all of this are considerable and mostly obvious, so I won't address all of them. The syllogism breaks down at several points as well. But the main assumption that nearly all of this hinges on is that a person in a geek setting who is dressing in a more sexy way than normal is doing that solely in an effect to attract sexual attention. Unfortunately sexy attire is blatantly obvious and motivations are completely invisible, and that makes it very easy to assign incorrect motivations based on faulty assumptions.

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    3. "You're trying to look hot!" as an accusation reminds me of a Very Bad Blind Date, who, after asking about my favorite TV shows, responded to my answer by saying that he hated whatever-it-was because everyone on it was so bright and witty!

      Sometimes, the things someone complains about say a lot about them.

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    4. To be fair, it seems to me that very often a good LARP NPC *will* want to go out looking like a piece of crap, because that's what the role calls for.

      But when the role *doesn't* call for that, why not try to be hot? How often do these people rag on Hollywood for the stars being eye candy? It's pleasant to be looking at people who look good. That's why it's called looking good.

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  2. LARPs give us an opportunity to wear costumes we wouldn't normally- if I showed up in a choli at work the law professors' eyebrows would reach their hairline. In today's workplace, my impression is that one is not to be attractive except in a very severe fashion. Otherwise there's an HR disaster.

    Now, for a battery of questions!

    As for fat, why is it shamed as an attraction-related thing? Are we buying into the current society model of thin-is-beautiful? If so, I've a related thought involving buffness in females being unattractive (magazines often photoshop out muscle definition of women, and many ladies I know are afraid to lift weights for fear of appearing masculine or large or something). I haven't heard any muscle-shaming yet('she wears sleeveless shirts to show off her biceps'), but I'm curious if anyone else has.

    We are not owed attractiveness when we LARP, or any other time. We do not owe attractiveness when we are in costume, or at work, or running around in our underwear. But do we see LARP as a venue to portray ourselves as attractive, or more sexually confident than we think we are elsewhere?

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  3. A few thoughts.

    I (continue to) find the LARPing community to be, overall, remarkably sexist. Having already dropped that bomb, I will note that I am unsure why, and that it seems unkind to speculate.

    Not a one of us owes it to anyone to be attractive. Clean and reasonably neat are good social standards, but actively attractive to every given individual, no. Still, I think this is a difficult point for any one of us to keep in mind. Particularly those of us with ovaries, alas.

    Women are certainly shamed far more than men, but it's also considered acceptable for them to talk about it. Guys are expected to suck it up and think it's funny or something -- if they were to talk more about it, there'd be a double shaming all about calling the waaaahmbulance.

    In life, one of the main reasons I performed in Rocky Horror was so, say, I could wear corsets in public WITHOUT it being assumed that I was only doing so in the hopes that The Entire Free World would want to fuck me, to be VERY frank. Cos: sometimes somebody just likes stuff like corsets and stockings as something other than a tool for seduction. SHOCKING!

    Also, I really don't think there's any defending Tony Harris. If that was not, in fact, what he meant... THEN HE SHOULD HAVE SAID WHAT HE MEANT.

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    1. Tony Harris presented his position poorly and there is no reason to defend it. But there is reason to try to understand it, even if it his fault he made it hard to understand. It is essential to know what he is complaining about and why he is complaining if you wish to have a discussion to try make him (or someone who holds his view) understand why what he said was wrong and hurtful. Otherwise you end up just talking around each other in an endless circle of “yes, but that isn't the point”.

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  4. You know... until this moment I hadn't realized how... I don't know... "appearance neutral" games have been for me. Like if someone asks me what another player/NPC looks like, my first thought isn't "they're the heavy-set one" or "asian" or "short" etc. Tends to go "Wears [colors], is a [fantasy race], they're a [header], carries a [recognizable prop or weapon], has a [identifying make-up] on their face, uh... [color] hair, [hand gesture] tall compared to me" and if somehow none of that communicates it I then might list gender, age, or physique of the person in a pinch but usually I don't get that far. I guess maybe because my imagination is in overdrive already other people at game lose the human appearance quality somehow. I don't see "heavy set [gender] playing a [fantasy race here]" ... I see ... [fantasy race here]!

    Thankfully I haven't yet encountered any derogatory comments towards others because it'd be hard to keep it IG and resist the urge to rattle off a buddhist saying about harsh words :P

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